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Author Pen Name: D. S. Haines
CA: What genre(s) do you write? Why do you write the stories that you write?
DSH: Military Non-Fiction. Why, because even the best of writers couldn’t make this **** (expletive deleted) up. Where else will you get stories of someone smearing crap on the floor of their commanding officer or someone adding a special protein filled sauce to a can of sausages that was given to a Somali?
CA: When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?
DSH: Never. I am not a writer by trade. Several people have asked me to consider writing a second book. My co-author actually wants to find out if the Lt. kept a journal from the platoon’s six-month tour in Egypt. There were numerous instances of pranks on that tour ranging from throwing one sergeants bike over a cliff, to ordering another sergeant hair pieces and male on male porn, to constantly changing the lock on another sergeants locker. Oddly enough it was always the same sergeant.
To be honest I probably should be taking notes at our reunions, there have been a few comical events that would make for some interesting story telling. For example on our first reunion Nelson wanted to see a Tijuana donkey show, but we were too far from Tijuana so instead he wanted to steal a donkey from a petting zoo!
The 2009 reunion is being held in Vegas. Several of us are talking about renting a giant RV, hiring a driver and driving across the country. Oh yeah, six days in an RV with three of the platoon’s biggest maniacs. Wait I smell a second book…just kidding.
CA: Who or what was your inspiration for writing?
DSH: There was no single inspiration. Both Tony and I had read several of the same books covering our genre. There was Swofford’s Jarhead and Crawford’s The Last True Story I Will Ever Tell among others. I think the platoon itself played a large part as well; we had a really great story to tell about an incredible group of men. Men that I will never forget.
CA: What is your work schedule like when you're writing?
DSH: Hectic. On top of working a forty-hour week, taking care of the “honey do” list and spending time with the family I managed to pound out a few pages a day. After I got a few chapters done I sent them to Tony, my co-author, who made some alterations and sent them back to me. Several members of the platoon acted as fact checkers for us as well. Then the whole process repeated itself until the book was complete.
CA: Your book is about to be sent into the reader world, what is one word that describes how you feel?
DSH: One word? Are you serious? This is impossible but I will try my best: HORNY… Just kidding. It is absolutely unreal.
CA: What was your biggest challenge in writing your book(s)?
DSH: There certainly is much more to writing a book than I ever imagined. There were so many challenges and conflicts, but the absolute biggest challenge was keeping it all organized. I am the kind of guy that would lose his head if it weren’t attached. I could easily set my keys down and forget where I put them within seconds. I had to keep every name and release organized on top of all the material. To top it all off I had to coordinate with Tony and the Lt. for changes, reviews and additions. Then there was keeping the query letters to agents and publishers organized as well. Thinking about it all kind of makes me jealous of those with OCD!
CA: What do you like to do when you're not writing?
DSH: Spending time with my wife and son or SCUBA Diving. Now if I could just get them certified so I could do both of those activities at the same time all would be right in the world. There is just nothing like stepping off the back of a boat and looking down into the water at a wreck sitting in eighty feet of water. The only thing better is sitting on the bottom waiting for the ***-**** (expletive deleted) sharks to leave so you can surface.
CA: Do you tend to base your characters on real people or are they totally from your imagination?
DSH: Considering it is a non-fiction I am going to go with real people. It was kind of upsetting that several members of the platoon declined the use of their names. They have pretty much shunned the platoon. It wasn’t many, like two or three, but it still bothers many of the guys in the platoon. We meet every two years and party it up together, and the fact that some of these guys are missing out on some really great times.
CA: Do you have any advice for the aspiring writers out there?
DSH: Advice, oh hell no, choose another profession or you will be screwed. Actually the only thing I could say is to make sure you do your research. Do serious research before making any decisions regarding your work and should you be lucky to find an author or two that will answer your questions listen to them and take notes. Don’t be offended if you run into one of those “I am too good to talk to you because I am a published author. I am published hear me roar” types, there are more of them than authors that will actually give you good advice or even take the time to listen to you.
Should you run into one of those other authors the proper way to deal with them is to raise your fist, knuckles facing the idiot in question. Gently raise your middle finger, smile and say: **** (expletive deleted) you very much!
CA: How can a reader contact you or purchase your books?
DSH: I can be reached on my mypace page: www.myspace.com/dshaines or by email D-Haines@comcast.net
The book can be purchased through Amazon.com or check your local bookstores
CA: Is there anything you would like to add?
DSH: When we started this we just wanted to be able to say: We did this. We wanted to have enough books printed to give out to our platoon. We didn’t write this with hopes of getting rich, becoming pimps or showing up on MTV Cribs. We simply had a story to tell. That being said, every dollar made off of this project is going into a fund that will hopefully pay for future reunions or any emergencies that may arise for members of the platoon.
CA: D.S. Thanks for taking time to visit my blog. For those of you that don’t have a copy of Time Well Wasted… GO GET IT!! Here is my review for it: http://bookreviewsbycrystal.blogspot.com/2008/06/time-well-wasted-story-of-1st-platoon.html
CA: What genre(s) do you write? Why do you write the stories that you write?
DSH: Military Non-Fiction. Why, because even the best of writers couldn’t make this **** (expletive deleted) up. Where else will you get stories of someone smearing crap on the floor of their commanding officer or someone adding a special protein filled sauce to a can of sausages that was given to a Somali?
CA: When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?
DSH: Never. I am not a writer by trade. Several people have asked me to consider writing a second book. My co-author actually wants to find out if the Lt. kept a journal from the platoon’s six-month tour in Egypt. There were numerous instances of pranks on that tour ranging from throwing one sergeants bike over a cliff, to ordering another sergeant hair pieces and male on male porn, to constantly changing the lock on another sergeants locker. Oddly enough it was always the same sergeant.
To be honest I probably should be taking notes at our reunions, there have been a few comical events that would make for some interesting story telling. For example on our first reunion Nelson wanted to see a Tijuana donkey show, but we were too far from Tijuana so instead he wanted to steal a donkey from a petting zoo!
The 2009 reunion is being held in Vegas. Several of us are talking about renting a giant RV, hiring a driver and driving across the country. Oh yeah, six days in an RV with three of the platoon’s biggest maniacs. Wait I smell a second book…just kidding.
CA: Who or what was your inspiration for writing?
DSH: There was no single inspiration. Both Tony and I had read several of the same books covering our genre. There was Swofford’s Jarhead and Crawford’s The Last True Story I Will Ever Tell among others. I think the platoon itself played a large part as well; we had a really great story to tell about an incredible group of men. Men that I will never forget.
CA: What is your work schedule like when you're writing?
DSH: Hectic. On top of working a forty-hour week, taking care of the “honey do” list and spending time with the family I managed to pound out a few pages a day. After I got a few chapters done I sent them to Tony, my co-author, who made some alterations and sent them back to me. Several members of the platoon acted as fact checkers for us as well. Then the whole process repeated itself until the book was complete.
CA: Your book is about to be sent into the reader world, what is one word that describes how you feel?
DSH: One word? Are you serious? This is impossible but I will try my best: HORNY… Just kidding. It is absolutely unreal.
CA: What was your biggest challenge in writing your book(s)?
DSH: There certainly is much more to writing a book than I ever imagined. There were so many challenges and conflicts, but the absolute biggest challenge was keeping it all organized. I am the kind of guy that would lose his head if it weren’t attached. I could easily set my keys down and forget where I put them within seconds. I had to keep every name and release organized on top of all the material. To top it all off I had to coordinate with Tony and the Lt. for changes, reviews and additions. Then there was keeping the query letters to agents and publishers organized as well. Thinking about it all kind of makes me jealous of those with OCD!
CA: What do you like to do when you're not writing?
DSH: Spending time with my wife and son or SCUBA Diving. Now if I could just get them certified so I could do both of those activities at the same time all would be right in the world. There is just nothing like stepping off the back of a boat and looking down into the water at a wreck sitting in eighty feet of water. The only thing better is sitting on the bottom waiting for the ***-**** (expletive deleted) sharks to leave so you can surface.
CA: Do you tend to base your characters on real people or are they totally from your imagination?
DSH: Considering it is a non-fiction I am going to go with real people. It was kind of upsetting that several members of the platoon declined the use of their names. They have pretty much shunned the platoon. It wasn’t many, like two or three, but it still bothers many of the guys in the platoon. We meet every two years and party it up together, and the fact that some of these guys are missing out on some really great times.
CA: Do you have any advice for the aspiring writers out there?
DSH: Advice, oh hell no, choose another profession or you will be screwed. Actually the only thing I could say is to make sure you do your research. Do serious research before making any decisions regarding your work and should you be lucky to find an author or two that will answer your questions listen to them and take notes. Don’t be offended if you run into one of those “I am too good to talk to you because I am a published author. I am published hear me roar” types, there are more of them than authors that will actually give you good advice or even take the time to listen to you.
Should you run into one of those other authors the proper way to deal with them is to raise your fist, knuckles facing the idiot in question. Gently raise your middle finger, smile and say: **** (expletive deleted) you very much!
CA: How can a reader contact you or purchase your books?
DSH: I can be reached on my mypace page: www.myspace.com/dshaines or by email D-Haines@comcast.net
The book can be purchased through Amazon.com or check your local bookstores
CA: Is there anything you would like to add?
DSH: When we started this we just wanted to be able to say: We did this. We wanted to have enough books printed to give out to our platoon. We didn’t write this with hopes of getting rich, becoming pimps or showing up on MTV Cribs. We simply had a story to tell. That being said, every dollar made off of this project is going into a fund that will hopefully pay for future reunions or any emergencies that may arise for members of the platoon.
CA: D.S. Thanks for taking time to visit my blog. For those of you that don’t have a copy of Time Well Wasted… GO GET IT!! Here is my review for it: http://bookreviewsbycrystal.blogspot.com/2008/06/time-well-wasted-story-of-1st-platoon.html
11 comments:
This sounds like one heck of a ride! Reading Mr Haines' book is on my to-do list.
Love the interview the book sounds really interesting. Hey Dave any tips on Scuba diving with sharks
Remie James
Ha, I hope the story of the Holster and Combat Boots is in this one!
Love Mr. Haine's refreshing, straightforward, tell-it-like-it- is attitude! Laughed more than a couple of times while reading the interview ... Can't wait to read the book, especially since my Son just joined the Air Force!!
Oh ... and the advice about how to handle "those" kind of authors was sweet! Thanks and good luck!
My dad has told a few stories of his Navy days that sound like a painful mix of Catch-22 and Doctor Strangelove. I think it's great that the boots on the ground, as admin folks like to say, tell their stories.
Thank you all for your great comments:
Remie, regarding the sharks, it is best to avoid sharks that are hungry.
EW, been an absolutely horrible week, whatever I can do to make that up to you let me know.
Any other questions or comments post them and I will respond.
HHHM Guess no playin with the sharks
aah geez do ya think Angel fish (I'm being sooo good!) will play or just stick with swimmin with the dolphins
~~~~***<3Remie>***~~~
then again in NY we have a large variety of fishes and other things floating - maybe I'll just stick to the pool - I'll throw in a mechanafish LOL
~~~~***<3Remie>***~~~
Oh heck no stick to the big sharks and the stingrays.
I am trying to talk the wife into letting me go to SF to go cage diving with great whites!
No one will ever be able to say that D.S. Haines lived a boring life!
Love the Honey do list..must mean he is handy and has a wife who wants him to be her honey do...
Book sounds AWESOME!!
ADELANTE!!!
Zulmara
Love the Honey do list..must mean he is handy and has a wife who wants him to be her honey do...
Book sounds AWESOME!!
ADELANTE!!!
Zulmara
_______________________________
When it comes to the wife I get the last word in during all of our arguements.
Those words are: "Yes Dear!"
This book had gone so far beyond our original goals. It is getting out of control.
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